In time.

“Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.” --Marcus Aurelius

Ever since G & I watched The Hall Pass last weekend, I've been thinking a lot about how fate & timing was such a huge factor in our relationship from the beginning. In the movie, both husbands are reliving their single lives when their wives give them a free pass from marriage for a week. By the end of the movie, they realize that the single life they thought they wanted wasn't really what they expected & that everything they've been looking for was already right in front of them.

How does the movie relate to me? Well, now that I'm a mother & my relationship with G has been better than ever, I've really been settling into the reality that marriage is really in my future. I'm 27 years old & as far as my personal life goes, everything is perfect. I never would've pictured this 3 or 4 years ago. At 23 I was struggling with this up & down rollercoaster of a relationship with a guy I thought was what I wanted but just ended up being all wrong for me. B & I were together for only 6 months & after we broke up, I still found myself caught up in this web with him. It was like I was still struggling to hold on to something that both of us knew wasn't there while he paraded around being single. He was the smart one. I was the fool. This went on for another year until everything just died. We cut off all ties for months after that & it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Sure, it was confusing at first. I was like a deer caught in headlights..no direction whatsoever. So I did what any single girl in Las Vegas did......went out! LOL & boooyy did i GO OUT!!! hahaha

The "Single Christine" was how Deanna from Jersey Shore would say was "A Blast in a Glass"!! LOL I was going out with my girls every weekend & we did it big. We were locals who did it TOURIST BIG! hahaha Vegas was good to me. Just when I thought I knew everything there is to know about myself & everything I wanted in my life..I surprise myself. The next two years were the happiest of my life at the time. I lived it up every chance I got. I danced the night away, got wasted, made mistakes..but walked away with no regrets.

I met G on myspace (not kidding) a little after B & I started dating. It was a casual friendship, nothing more. We kept in touch. Me in DC & him in Seattle. We were friends. Nothing more, nothing less. I moved back to Vegas in the summer of 2008 with things still wishy-washy with B. G & I were still communicating here & there. When B & I finally cut things off, G was taking his annual March Madness trip to Vegas with his friends. This was the first time we met eachother in person. I came into the situation just casual because after all, we were friends. I was single & I was happy. Little did I know that weekend was the start of something that would lead me to the rest of my life. Call me dramatic, but it was literally just that.

Anyways, G had it in his mind that I was "THE ONE" after that weekend. After he came out to surprise me a couple months after his March trip, I knew things were gonna be different between us. Now, I was the wishy-washy one. Ohh, LIFE. If there was one word I could honestly say to describe our relationship in the beginning, it would be EFFORT. He put it in in every way imaginable & looking back at it, we would've never came to be if not for all the energy he put in. For about 7 months, I was in denial. I refused to believe that I was ready for another relationship & I convinced myself every night that I didn't want to get into anything serious with G. I was a liar. Making up every excuse in the book to NOT get into this relationship with G..the distance, how I wasn't ready, yada yada. Not because I didn't like him, but because I LIKED HIM. I was scared. Everything about him...about US scared me. Keep in mind, I was single for 2 years before G & I started dating. My relationship with B scarred me. Every opinion I had on relationships, B flipped all of that around for me & I was scared. G treated me like a queen even before we got together. We had a blast everytime we hung out & we never ran out of things to talk about. He was amazing. It scared me to think of how I would be with him. B was the opposite of G & if I practically worshipped him, how would I be with G?? Was I ready to invest so much of my time & energy in another relationship? At 25, I was tired of dating around. Relationships left me so emotionally exhausted that I was unsure if thats what I wanted in my life at that time. Eventually I said, FUCK IT! We made it official on January 22, 2010 (refer to blog entry 01.22.10). Fast forward to 14 months later, we're parents to a beautiful baby boy & we're a happy family -=) & the rest of history...

I can't imagine how my life would be if G & I didn't happen the way we did. Timing was everything for us. Had we met a day sooner, it could have changed EVERYTHING. We've been throwing around the possibilities of marriage every now & then so its obvious we both see it in our future. Timing will also become a factor when the time comes. I guess this relates to the movie because I'm happy that things happened the way they did for both of us in our individual lives. From what I know, we've already done everything there is to do so 10 or 20 years down the line, I won't be asking for a hall pass & he won't either. Everything in our pasts (every person, every event, every memory & mistake) was all a factor in what brought us together. Being single taught me not to settle for anything less than what I deserved. I had fun & I made mistakes. I was young & foolish & I don't regret anything. I got everything out of my system & I never looked back. I am still the same person I was when I was single, just more mature & wiser. At almost 27 years old, my life is centered around my child & G and I can say I wouldn't want it any other way. They are my world & I can't picture my life without them now. I'm looking forward to my life with G and the family we'll be building together.

GERALD GARCIA DUMANDAN:

I love you with all my heart. I am so thankful that YOU found ME. I don't know what I did to deserve such an amazing man but I am happy you're in my life. You inspire me to be a better me. You have given me the greatest gift that life could ever bring & I appreciate our time together. I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you -=) Thank you for being a great friend, lover, &most especially for being an amazing father to Xavier. Thank you for being you for me. i love you, boo!