Are you guys watching this game right now?! UN-F*CKING-BELIEVABLE!!! I never doubted OKC would beat us. Exactly why I gave them 2 wins this series with the Lakers winning in 6 but a damn blowout?! 1/2 of the OKC's points are from foul shots?! WTF?! Is it just me or are these referees playing this shit right now?! ARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!
I wanna fucking shoot somebody! On top of everything else, we're not getting to the line & when we do we can't make a freethrow to save our lives. There's no intensity on both ends of the court for us. We're so much bigger than these kids & we can't get a fucking rebound?!?! I'm so upset right now. This is ridiculous!
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
90 days..
...from the amazing day of January 22, 2010, of course -=)
I'm happy to say that things haven't slowed down for my boyfriend & I. We're still going strong, feeling more connected than ever. Everyday I fall more & more in love with him & our relationship. I've got no complaints, no worries, no negative remarks. But just reading back that last sentence seemed so surreal to me. If you know me at all, by this time in the relationship, we would've had our first fight already or I've already nit-picked at his personality & found something to be annoyed by...but honestly speaking, nothing. I can't even find anything wrong if I lied about it.
Just last weekend, I surprised him by visiting him in Seattle. A month of plotting with his best friends for the perfect surprise & I'm happy to say we succeeded. A billion thanks to them, by the way. They know who they are *hugs* But seeing his face when the surprise was going down was priceless. We both had the hugest smiles on our faces & the fact that we were both on the verge of going crazy with missing each other, it made it all worth it. It was the shortest visit we've had together but we definitely made the most of it. It was the best 46 hours I've ever spent with anyone ever in my life. That weekend made me realize how lucky I am to have him in my life. Then I think about how stupid I would have been to have passed all of this up just a few months prior and trust me, I was so close. That's all in the past & it just seems like ages ago.
So, as I was saying..3 months in & everything is perfect. Well, nothing's perfect but if there was one thing that was, it would be this. The long-distance is never going to be something I'll get used to. Its just something I need to deal with. A little sacrifice never hurt anyone, right? I find myself missing him so much..especially on the rougher days, but I cope. We talk on a daily basis, whether through phone or text or twitter or facebook -- the communication is there & I'm so proud of how we're both handling the distance. I've always imagined a long-distance relationship being a lot harder to deal with than this, but he's made it as smooth as possible for me so when your boyfriend treats you like a queen but respects you like his equal, you tell me...what is there to complain/fight about? Exactly what I thought -- nothing.
I couldn't have dreamt up a more perfect guy or relationship than this. He's funny & our humor meshes well together. He's a perfect gentleman. He doesn't only meet me halfway, but the 100% I give to him, he reciprocates. What more could I possibly ask for? Well, there's ONE thing..can you guess?
Yup. For us to be together -- physically.
Its tough. I wouldn't wish a long-distance relationship on anyone. But I always say, the Lord wouldn't give you something He knows you can't handle. In due time, we will be together. I don't know when all these plans will pull together but I'm not doubtful that we both have the patience to wait. I can see the long-run with him. Our future bright & clear, so I'm in no rush. I understand the weight of a big move like that & I would never want to pressure him into moving anywhere for me prematurely. Missing him is a pain, but just looking at the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? That's enough to ease that pain because I know what lies ahead in our future is definitely going to be worth the wait.
So, call me cheesy, corny or whatever you want but fuck it. I'M IN LOVE! I have the most amazing man in my life who is not only my boyfriend but he's my best friend too!
And before I hit the sack tonight, I just want to say...
I love you so much & every minute we're apart, I'm missing you like crazy. I thank the Lord everyday that he's blessed me with you. You have made me feel happiness like I've never felt in my life. I look forward to the next 3 days, months, years, decades & even centuries with you. Happy 3 month anniversary, boo! 6 more days til we see each other again. I can't wait for our date ;] Thank you for being the man you are -- for all the support you give & the effort you put in. I'm truly convinced you were made just for me -=) I LOVE YOU, CRAZY!
And with all that said...thank you & goodnight, bloggers!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
When it's over..
Let me just be really real right now because what I'm about to say, I just really need to get off my chest. Let's face it, I'm 25 years old and I really just need to be rid of all this negative energy. So, just bare with me for a few...
I've always been that kind of girl that gives all I can give but when I've had it, I've had it. There's no rewinds. No take-backs. I'm spent. I've only truly felt this way 3 times in my life prior and they all came at the ending of my last 3 relationships. This particular instance came as a bit of a shock to me because (1) it wasn't an ex-boyfriend I was feeling this about and (2) I'm usually a forgiving, "give everybody the benefit-of-the-doubt" type of person. I guess this time, I just went out of character. Maybe it was just too much for me. Everything just felt forced, like instead of being real with eachother I just felt like I HAD to be there not because I wanted to be, but more because I felt bad if I wasn't. There were times when I felt flat-out overwhelmed, no joke. I'm not denying the fact that we had some great times and it was an awesome friendship while it lasted..but honestly, it just got old. I found myself getting annoyed at the littlest things & then I started to feel smothered. I thought I was crazy for feeling that way because I never thought it was possible to feel that way about your friends but I guess it was. Well, in my case at least. The best way I knew how to deal was to just get away. The distance helped me clear my head. After some time away, I realized that it wasn't really the kind of situation I wanted to associate myself with. I've come a long way and I'm very proud of the person I have grown to be but being in this situation recently has caused me to backtrack into these immature relapses. I hate how it makes me feel and how it makes me act because it's not me. Far from it.
It still confuses the hell out of me though. How I can get tired of a person or situation so fast and in such a short amount of time, I haven't the slightest clue but it happened & needless to say, I don't feel guilty or regret anything. What's done is done & I'll just leave it be because truth be told, I don't care enough to bring shit up right now. And if we're really being raw about it, you never really knew me at all so I don't owe you anything, much less an explanation. But that's just me being blunt. I know I should be the bigger person & talk it out so that at least we got some closure, that's my bad. But I do believe in due time we will get that chance to talk it out. I just don't think now is the time. Things are still fresh in my mind & I think if given the time to talk about it now, my annoyance will just get the best of me & the conversation might just take a turn for the worst. So, I guess until then I'll just leave it be & let the time take its course to heal both ends.
How things took the complete 360 & got to where it is now, I can't explain. It seems like everything just happened so fast & before I knew it, we're here. I don't want to apologize because I don't feel like I have anything to be sorry for. I just feel like we both need to be individuals. You do you and I'll do me. That's the only solution I can think of. I know you'll be okay because you have been & you definitely don't need me to reassure you of that. You're good. So, until we cross paths again..I just wish you all the best.
Thank you & goodnight.
I've always been that kind of girl that gives all I can give but when I've had it, I've had it. There's no rewinds. No take-backs. I'm spent. I've only truly felt this way 3 times in my life prior and they all came at the ending of my last 3 relationships. This particular instance came as a bit of a shock to me because (1) it wasn't an ex-boyfriend I was feeling this about and (2) I'm usually a forgiving, "give everybody the benefit-of-the-doubt" type of person. I guess this time, I just went out of character. Maybe it was just too much for me. Everything just felt forced, like instead of being real with eachother I just felt like I HAD to be there not because I wanted to be, but more because I felt bad if I wasn't. There were times when I felt flat-out overwhelmed, no joke. I'm not denying the fact that we had some great times and it was an awesome friendship while it lasted..but honestly, it just got old. I found myself getting annoyed at the littlest things & then I started to feel smothered. I thought I was crazy for feeling that way because I never thought it was possible to feel that way about your friends but I guess it was. Well, in my case at least. The best way I knew how to deal was to just get away. The distance helped me clear my head. After some time away, I realized that it wasn't really the kind of situation I wanted to associate myself with. I've come a long way and I'm very proud of the person I have grown to be but being in this situation recently has caused me to backtrack into these immature relapses. I hate how it makes me feel and how it makes me act because it's not me. Far from it.
It still confuses the hell out of me though. How I can get tired of a person or situation so fast and in such a short amount of time, I haven't the slightest clue but it happened & needless to say, I don't feel guilty or regret anything. What's done is done & I'll just leave it be because truth be told, I don't care enough to bring shit up right now. And if we're really being raw about it, you never really knew me at all so I don't owe you anything, much less an explanation. But that's just me being blunt. I know I should be the bigger person & talk it out so that at least we got some closure, that's my bad. But I do believe in due time we will get that chance to talk it out. I just don't think now is the time. Things are still fresh in my mind & I think if given the time to talk about it now, my annoyance will just get the best of me & the conversation might just take a turn for the worst. So, I guess until then I'll just leave it be & let the time take its course to heal both ends.
How things took the complete 360 & got to where it is now, I can't explain. It seems like everything just happened so fast & before I knew it, we're here. I don't want to apologize because I don't feel like I have anything to be sorry for. I just feel like we both need to be individuals. You do you and I'll do me. That's the only solution I can think of. I know you'll be okay because you have been & you definitely don't need me to reassure you of that. You're good. So, until we cross paths again..I just wish you all the best.
Thank you & goodnight.
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