bliss.

Yiiikkees! I feel so bad just blogging once a month. Life has been hectic lately...very happy, yet hectic. I've been back to work now for 3 full weeks & it feels great. I've missed my co-workers & slowly I've been easing my way back in and catching up on some major paperwork. Xavier's getting bigger & bigger everyday and we've been busy starting the planning for his Christening in June. And, still in school! I'm finishing up the first quarter of the year this week & I'm super excited to be starting the 2nd quarter. I fell behind on my Fashion Sketching I class this past quarter because I was still getting situated with the baby but I'm retaking it so I can fully focus on it. Lord knows drawing isn't my strong point! And I'll finally be learning how to sew!! Clothing Construction I class is going to be awesome & I can't wait! This is only the beginning -=)

Gerald & I are still stronger than ever. We've been so blessed with the baby & his new job that it surprises me how we still find time to be with eachother through both of our schedules. I guess this should be expected, he never failed to show me the effort throughout our relationship (even before we made it official) so why should he stop now, right?! Ahh, I'm so in love...the luckiest girl in the world I tell ya...THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD!

On top of everything else, there's nothing I can really complain about. Motherhood has been pretty easy for me, all thanks to the abundance in help from Gerald & my family. They've all been really supportive and I just feel so blessed. Xavier is just the best baby in the world. He hasn't been giving me problems at all and we have so much fun already -=) I can't wait til he starts seeing & crawling..I'm already so excited!!

My mom just finished her first set of radiation treatments that she was taking with continued chemotherapy. She's on hiatus from any treatments for the next few weeks until they take another CT scan. Please keep your prayers coming. We're anticipating more good news on her status!

What more can I say, 2011 has already been so good to me. I have so much to look forward to this year and I'm so excited for it all. I hope everyone's having as great a year as me so far. 'Til next time...

thank you & goodnight!

Xavier James.

Yup! That's my boy!

After 27 whole hours in the hospital, he finally decided to come out on January 18 at 9:02pm. I got induced at 8am that morning & after 5 hours of "trying" to endure the pains of labor, I opted for my epidural & let me tell you, ladies -- BEST DECISION EVER!! I'm not even gonna front & tell you guys that the pain wasn't that bad because it was THAT bad..probably more than what I was expecting. I was the bitchiest I've ever been in my life until that miracle of a shot was injected into my system. I apologize, by the way to everyone that saw me in pain..I know I wasn't the most pleasant person to you all for those 8 hours. I really am sorry!

Anyway, its been 15 days since that day & I'm loving every single second of motherhood -=D He's an awesome baby!! I guess all the talks me & Gerald had with my belly while he was in there were all worth it. He's made it the easiest transition for us and I couldn't be more proud of our little boy. He's the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life & I'm just so blessed. Aww, now I feel like I'm gonna shed a tear. Ok, let me stop.

Xavier, mommy loves you baby -=)

Saying goodbye to 2010.

If I could choose ONE word to describe this year it would without a doubt be BITTERSWEET.

Looking back on the past year, I can't help but be happy & sad at the same time. Some things I'd rather have not happened at all, but most of the year I can say I've shed more smiles than tears.

I started the year off right all thanks to my boo ;] I couldn't have asked for a more perfect way to begin 2010 but to spend it with that someone special. He's made this year one to remember & to think we've only just begun our new life together. He's been a great deal of support through the whole pregnancy & if I can't call him my lifesaver, I don't know who else can fill the spot because he's gone above & beyond for me & I just can't help but feel blessed to have him. I love you, Gerald Garcia Dumandan -=) Thank you for being YOU & for believing in me, & most especially in US!

Spring rolled through & the good times kept rolling. Great times were had & amazing memories were made. I found a job that I loved & it added some stability in my life. Financial weights were lifted from my shoulders & what can I say? It felt great!!

Summer wasn't so bright though. Started it off pretty happy finding out I was pregnant, but then got hit hard with the news of my mom getting diagnosed with pancreatic cancer was pretty rough all around. This year has definitely taught me a lot about my faith and the power of prayer. Its been 6 months since the diagnosis & if it wasn't for the weight loss, you'd think she was back to her old self again -=) I'm very grateful that she's found the strength to fight through the sickness & hopefully 2011 will bring us even greater news. My mom is an amazing woman & I know the Lord will continue to guide her through this so please, keep the prayers coming her way.

I'm happy to say I've found some consistency in my life this year. I went back to school last October & finished off the quarter with a 4.0 GPA -=) Not too shabby considering I was in my 2nd & 3rd trimesters the whole time LOL I'm happy to say I'm extremely proud of myself. I've always been a great student, but its good to know I haven't lost the drive & motivation.

2010 will be coming to a close in 4 days & soon enough, Gerald & I will be welcoming the new year with our baby boy. By this Thursday, I'll be full term already & well, it'll be safe to say that the baby will be coming any day from then -=) With every movement he makes in my belly (no matter how painful, at times), we get more & more excited. Everything is starting to feel more real now that the due date is coming closer. I'm getting more anxious about the delivery. I feel like I'm so unprepared which is making me super nervous. Blame that on the Virgo in me. But, I know that no matter what, when he's here...it'll be the most amazing experience I will ever go through. I can't wait!

With everything that happened to me this year, I have to say that I've never been more at peace in my life than I was this year. I weeded out the negativity and I didn't settle for anything less than what I deserved. It would've been hard to imagine going through all the shit I went through this year with extra and unnecessary "baggage." Its an awesome feeling knowing that I stuck to my guns & haven't looked back since. I know that I have a much better person & I've been more at ease with myself because of it.

So, to anyone & everyone who has been a part of my year...I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I feel so blessed and so loved. May the Lord bless you all with lots of health, love, friendship, happiness & wealth in 2011.

Thank you & goodnight!

Christmas 2010.

(From L to R: Big Bro, Me, Big Bro's Girlfriend Lisa, Mom, Little Sister & Boo)

10 weeks.

Wow. Where has the time gone? It seems like only yesterday Gerald & I found out I was pregnant and now we're 10 weeks away from my due date. With the baby's every kick and with every day that passes, we get more and more excited! Its so crazy to think I actually have another little life inside me. I get more & more amazed every day.

Gerald has been nothing short of amazing, as well. I think he's learning to adjust more & more everyday to living somewhere else other than Seattle, where he was born & raised. He's been a trooper though. The day of the move was pretty rough on him and all his loved ones, but everyone's been real supportive thus far and I couldn't be more thankful for that. I know that when the baby finally comes, he'll be an amazing father. He's already shown so much effort in making things as easy as possible for me & I couldn't have imagined going through this pregnancy without him. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve it, but I most definitely feel blessed.

And while we're on the subject of feeling blessed, I should probably mention that my trip to Seattle 2 weeks ago was awesome, as always! It felt good to be out of Vegas, even if it was only for the weekend. It rained a lot the whole weekend & usually that would bother me, but just being around everyone who showed us so much love..how could I have NOT been in a good mood?? Gerald's best friends Michelle & Julie threw us an awesome baby shower at his house with all of his friends and it was so much fun - everything from the games, food, and the company. I was surprised that I even had any energy left for the baby shower his sister & mom threw us the next day. It was more chill, but still so much fun. I never thought I could feel so much love in one weekend but thats what happened! I feel more & more blessed and excited that my son's going to have such an amazing support system in his life. Of course, we'll be sending out more formal Thank You's in a few weeks but I just wanted to say thank you again & again, over & over to Michelle, Julie, Karen, & Auntie for putting in the effort, time & energy to throw us two amazing baby showers! WE LOVE YOU!!!

So, whats next? Well, we're hoping to enjoy the holidays with my family here in Las Vegas and attend some prenatal classes in between just to get more prepared for the lil man. My family's throwing me a baby shower in 2 weeks so the love's gonna keep coming our way! Then, before we know it, it'll be January & then the real countdown will begin. We're so excited! Thank you to both of our families and friends for the constant support and encouragement. We love you all & we can't wait to share Xavier with you all.

Thank you & goodnight!

Bittersweet.

My dad was in town this weekend from D.C. & I must say, after 2 1/2 years of not seeing or even talking to eachother until the last few months..it feels good. Its like everything is right with the world. He came to our house to pay a visit to my mom & it brought her to tears...which of course, brought me to tears. Looking back at the relationship they used to have when my siblings & I were growing up then seeing it turn ugly for a few years after the divorce had been finalized & seeing them now...well, I have no words to describe it but i know one thing -- it most definitely brings me peace. I always knew my dad & I would reconcile our differences & restore the relationship we used to have..but seeing BOTH of my parents together in one room...and NOT yelling at eachother? Well, its pretty awesome. I guess the only thing that sucks about it is that we never really know where their relationship would be if I didn't get pregnant & my mom didn't get diagnosed with cancer. Nonetheless, the past is in the past and we are all here now & I, for one, cannot complain. It feels good.

It was a long, rough road that got us all here but I'm thankful & happy that we are, FINALLY....here.

UPDATE!

YIKES! I guess I've been leaving the blog a bit dusty the past 4 months, huh? So, here's the update:

MY Lakers are the back-to-back Champions, in case you were stuck under a rock for the past 4 months and didn't hear LOL all that stress they put me through last season, all I have to say is that I am RELIEVED! We made some moves this summer to build a stronger team as we go after another 3-peat for Coach PJ's last year in LA. Looking forward to October already. GO LAKERS!!!

Ok, ok. Now back to updates with me LOL. Work is work, as always. Been at my job since March of this year & I love it. Most days are better than others but its good to have that steady income. My co-workers are like my extended family & they definitely help to make the workday go by fast. Not to mention, its a small office & communication is easy to come by...well, for me at least. But, let's not go there. Full benefits & a pretty decent salary..what more can I ask for at this point in my life, in the professional aspect?

The boyfriend & I are still going strong -=) 7 months on the 22nd of this month & more love is on the way because WE'RE HAVING A BABY! Yes, you heard right! I'm 15 weeks pregnant & we're both thrilled! Although, him & I haven't been together for as long as most couples, I'm very happy to say that I couldn't have been more excited to have this baby with anyone else. Both of our families have been very supportive with everything & everyday is just making us more and more excited! So, with that said..my wishes are finally coming true -- we're saying goodbye to this long-distance relationship because he'll soon be joining me here in Las Vegas. Third week of October to be exact. As far as marriage? Not in the agenda just yet. Of course we're in love but we both agreed that the baby is the #1 priority at this point. We just don't feel like we NEED to get married just because we're having a baby. Our personal relationship is separate from everything having to deal with the baby and if in the future, we're still going strong & we feel like its the right time..why NOT get married, right? But not right now. We'll be just as happy with or without the ring at this moment in time.

My family life..well, thats another story. Don't get me wrong..things at home are still amazing but just some not-so-good adjustments we've all had to make. Just around the same time I found out I was pregnant, my mom was diagnosed with Stage 3 pancreatic cancer. There's a mass on her pancreas that was just about the size of a golf ball & it was blocking one of her tubes affecting her food intake. She lost so much weight & it even caused yellowing in her skin. It was definitely the most heartbreaking news I've ever had to deal with in my life. Everyday is a struggle, trying to stay positive about a situation that could go any which way at any time...it's crazy. She's been through 4 chemotherapy treatments and she's scheduled for a PET Scan in a few weeks to see if the chemo shrank the mass. Lots of prayers from family and friends all over the world have helped us all get through this. Its been 2 months and she's looking great, actually. She's gained a little bit of weight & her skin color is back to normal. She was reacting really well to the chemo and she's only starting to feel pains in her stomach & back last week. My mom's always been a strong woman and to tell you the truth, its been a lot harder for us to keep it together than its been for her. Seeing her go through this with so much faith & strength is so inspiring. I'm hoping the positivity keeps coming our way, until she can finally be rid of this awful disease. I believe in you, Mom. I love you & we're still praying everyday. We can do this!

I gotta stop now before the tears begin to fall. So, I guess now you can see what I've been up to the past 4 months. Quite a roller coaster but I'm holding it together a lot better than I thought I would be. I've come such a long way from who I used to be so many years ago & I'm really proud of who I've become. The Lord won't give you a problem he knows you can't fix so I'm feeling blessed that the Lord has trusted me to get through this. I feel blessed to have such an amazing family, boyfriend, job, and life. I can't wait to see what the rest of the year has in store for me -=)

So, hopefully another 4 months doesn't go by before I blog again. Please keep my mother in your prayers and may God bless you. Thank you and good night!

woooooosssaaahhhh.

Are you guys watching this game right now?! UN-F*CKING-BELIEVABLE!!! I never doubted OKC would beat us. Exactly why I gave them 2 wins this series with the Lakers winning in 6 but a damn blowout?! 1/2 of the OKC's points are from foul shots?! WTF?! Is it just me or are these referees playing this shit right now?! ARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!

I wanna fucking shoot somebody! On top of everything else, we're not getting to the line & when we do we can't make a freethrow to save our lives. There's no intensity on both ends of the court for us. We're so much bigger than these kids & we can't get a fucking rebound?!?! I'm so upset right now. This is ridiculous!